Hellio Everybody

Hey there Blogworld. Well, today I went to see my new neice again. God she is gorgeous, it is amazing how a baby makes you feel. All happy inside, not like what I normally feel like. To be honest, new neice aside, I had a really rough day yesterday, and today I only feel mildly better.

I had a temper on me yesterday, more so than normal and I was pretty short with my kids. It seemed no matter what they did, I was snapping at them to stop it. Sometimes it's hard to remember that they just want to be kids and play and make messes like I did when I was their age. Anyway, I was feeling pretty down on myself, we were getting ready to head to the hospital to see my sister and her new baby when I put some clothes on and just felt like a behemoth! It was awful, I just really felt big and I have noticed lately I have less and less tolerance for myself. I truly don't like me. My wife thought I was angry with her because I "blew my gasket" while asking where some of my more comfortable clothes were.(more comfortable is code for "huge'r ones) When finding out they were in the laundry I got angry and went to sulk and hate myself a little. We finally got going to the hospital(me el sausage style) and didn't talk most of the way there. I was busy feeling sorry for myself and my wife was busy being angry at me.

At one point I realized why she was being so quiet and appologized for acting like a jerk. She, being the freaking Saint that she is, forgave right away, God I'm lucky to have her!
I am just so ready for this surgery and the anticipation is killing me at this point. i just keep telling myself, 1 month, 2 days left, that's all I have, then a whole new world of hurt can begin, one that I am excited to start.